I have a confession to make… I live for bedtime.
I know I am not alone in this. Mother’s across the world count down the minutes until bedtime. We get tired and wore out and all we want is a moment to ourselves to go to the bathroom alone, perhaps take a quiet shower, and enjoy some TV that isn’t a cartoon or read a book with no pictures!
At bedtime, my husband & I divide & conquer! We each take a kiddo, get them ready for bed, and then read to them solo, so we each get a chance to spend some alone time with each child and we go back and forth each night. Most nights, we lay our sleepy child down, say one last good night & kiss & then triumphantly leave the room with the excitement of some “quiet” time.
One night not too long ago, I had tucked my little girl into bed after our regular routine of snuggles, book, etc. She drifted off quickly into dream land and about 20 min later woke up screaming. I went in to check on her and all I can determine is that she had had a bad dream in that short amount of time. I pulled her out of her crib, sat down on our favorite chair and in the dark calmed her down and patted her back. She eventually fell back to sleep and I found myself thinking… just one more minute… I just want to hold her ONE MORE MINUTE… Now that my little girl is a TODDLER, she doesn’t like snuggling very long. I just wanted to hold her, love her, pray over her just ONE MORE MINUTE. I remember doing the same exact same thing a few times with my son as well around this age.
One thing I wish I would have heard more, or grasped more, I guess when I was pregnant was to cherish EACH minute. I heard a saying once that you will never have a minute the exact same as the one you’re in and it is SO true with kids. They grow up so fast and we can miss so much.
I already feel like I’ve missed so much. I get caught up in my own wishes and desires. I never realized just how selfish I was until I became a mom. And so each minute that I miss is a minute I can’t get back.
My prayer for myself is that I can focus on my kids. I know the time goes so fast – my son is 4 already for crying out loud! I don’t want to look back on their teenage years when they want to have nothing to do with me and regret not spending time with them when I had the chance. The other day I said to my son “if there is a time that you feel mommy isn’t paying enough attention to you, LET ME KNOW!” Whether it’s being on my phone too much (guilty!), too worried about dinner, or what not, I want him to be honest with me and say “MOMMY, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!”
I know that in a blink of an eye this will all be over…